The Berkeley Archives: Jon Yip Talks to Himself

A Systematic Commentary On My Life At Berkeley

Spring 2003

Week 16: Life As It Comes to Us

4-27-2003

Intervarsity was good; this guy talked about the generosity of God and I actually learned a lot from it. There was this really long senior large group meeting that took forever (I’m not even sure if I’ll be able to make it... argh). For some reason there was herra people hanging around afterwards; a lot of people were probably going out to eat, but Wayne and I were going home. Leon went out to eat with them, but Shirley and I went home. I got my stuff together, ate some stuff, and Wayne picked me up. He was tired so I drove. Whoops...

So I was on 880, cruisin’ at about 80-85 mph. I knew it was kind of fast, and normally I don’t drive that fast because once you hit 80 or so in my cars, it starts feeling like it’s about to fall apart, but Wayne’s car is a lot smoother so it’s harder to tell that you’re going fast, and also I there were other cars passing me. Besides, Wayne drives that fast all the time. Presently, however, I realized that there was a red light hovering behind me on the road. It wasn’t even blinking or flashing, it was just this ghetto-looking, little light that looked like it was fake. I wondered if it was a cop, and I asked Wayne, but we didn’t know. Then the siren came on. Based on the circumstances, I pulled over.

This “officer” looked like he was about 19 years old. He shone the flashlight on all our stuff in the back. Did you know you were going 82, yadda yadda yadda... he asked for my license, and I said it was in the back. “All the way in the back, huh,” he said, as if he thought I was lying. “Why don’t you go back and get it, then.” I went to the trunk and got it, and I was afraid that he was going to pull a gun on me because my wallet was in my camera bag (black) and I had to dig it out of my backpack. I didn’t get a good look at his car to see if it was really a cop car. His buddy was out there too, so I didn’t think it was a good idea to mess with them.

I gave him my license and he asked me to wait in the car. He wrote this ticket or something and gave it to me. I asked him why the red light wasn’t flashing. He said it’s supposed to be solid-burning red light. “Whatever,” I thought, but my mouth said “Oh, OK.” My first ticket (...to the GUN SHOW!). Funny how my first everything to do with car mishaps always occur when Wayne is around.

Luckily, Mom and Dad didn’t spaz out over it.

DAD: This teaches you a lesson. Make sure that there is always someone driving faster than you.

On Saturday I played a lot of drums, helped with some laundry, other stuff... There was worship practice for Richard’s team at 3:00. That was cool, then there was Steve’s worship practice for combined cell. I played bass for ten minutes until I got bloody blisters on my fingers, then I used the pick. That set was a challenge, but a good one. Anyway, by the time it was all over, there wasn’t enough time for me to go home and re-type my outline for my message (I left the disk in the computer here at Berkeley!!! STUPID!!!), so I just had to go from memory. But it really turned out pretty good; I went off on odd tangents, made retarded movie references, spewed ridiculous fountains of nonsense, but this time, I made it connect with my message. Heh heh. I talked about me, passion, and coming back to God. And I made it all tie together. I really hope that people now can see me as someone they can talk to when they are feeling. Just feeling. Bad, or good, or don’t know. Talk to me, people. And talk they did. I got some good feedback from a lot of people, beyond just the “nice speech, Jon” kind of thing (though I do appreciate that as well). Thank you Kim, Eugenia, Alice, Howard, Kimmy, and Ralph (in chronological order, according to the best of my knowledge) for giving some genuine feedback, and even daring to ask questions about it.

Church was pretty good this morning. Worship went well; instead of a sermon, there was just a lot of sharing time by the Mexico team, and it was good to hear their stories of what they did, and what affected them most. Afterwards some people claimed they were going to Weinerschnitzel, so I gathered a little band (Wayne, Christina, and Stephanie Wu) and motored off to the house of sausages. Like last week, we were stood up, as no one was there (though I later learned that we actually stood Leedah up by not waiting for him, sorry dude). I got two chili dogs, chili cheese fries and a drink. I was planning to eat there but Christina and Stephanie had to be back for cell leaders’ meeting and I didn’t have time to order Tim and Leslie’s food, so I ended up giving each of them one of my chili dogs and all I ate was the fries. Those were good though.

While waiting for the meeting to end, Wayne and hung around outside with Angela (not Li or Chang, I can’t remember the last name right now) and Virginia and I knew that was their names but I didn’t know which was which. Well I know now. I really wish I knew who all these younger people are. I feel really bad for not getting to know them; I think it’s my duty and obligation if I have a leadership position in church. I shouldn’t be letting these people down.

Funny story; it’s late so I don’t know if should take time to write it. So Ralph wanted Virginia to go inside for the meeting and he asked Wayne and me to “escort” her to the room. We went over but she was too nervous to go inside. So Wayne and made this huge spectacle.

JON: Ladies and gentlemen!

WAYNE: We’d like to introduce–

(Virginia is gone, out the door)

I lent Battle Royale to Jason. Went home, ate some left over dimsum, read the paper, relaxed. Ate dinner, which was good. Jon Liao called and talked about his workshop that he’s planning. The family started watching Panic Room since there was only crap on TV, but Wayne came to get me and we went back to Berkeley. We prayed on the way, because of dire times and situations at River of Life. I won’t get into it here, but I feel terrible about the things that are happening in church politics right now. Thankfully, the English service has nothing to do with it, but people are definitely going to be affected. I remember, I was only 18 when we voted on whether or not we should pursue the 7-Up building. I thought that it was expensive, we didn’t have the money, and it wasn’t even that good of a building, and I knew that people would vote for it anyway just because we had been looking for one for so long and they would jump at any opportunity to get one. I remember thinking of the story in the Bible of the wall that was started but the builders did not have enough to complete it, so it remained unfinished and everyone laughed at them and mocked them. Only one other person thought as I did, because the vote was about 41 to 2 against, if I remember correctly. And now we see that everything I had predicted, as only an 18 year old, has come to pass. It makes me wonder exactly how clearly the adult directors and leaders are hearing from God. What has just happened, I think, is definitely not what God intended. And with the current situation, it doesn’t look like things are going to get better. I know I should say discouraging things like this, and I really do love ROL and think that God still has awesome plans for us, but just maybe not in the way we thought. But at this point, to me at least, everything is in the air and we have to prepare for anything. Am I the only one who saw this coming so long ago? But we have to keep praying.

Wayne hung around for a while and then left. We were watching Hollow Man on TV. Shirley went to mass, and Leon and I kept watching it, criticizing it’s laughable story and logic while at the same time admiring the awesome visual effects.

4-29-2003

Talked with Leon last night till past 4:00!! Dang man! Talked about a lot of interesting stuff... heh heh. He told me later that I fell asleep on him. Right in the middle of a question. I felt bad about that, not answering his question. I don’t even remember getting that drowsy. One minute I was awake, the next, fast asleep.

It was pretty early when I woke up, 9:30 maybe? I thought that wasn’t enough sleep since I went to bed past 4:00, so I went back to bed and woke up at 11:15. Yikes. And I think I only awoke because Leon was getting ready to go to class. So I got up, ate. There wasn’t really that much time until class. Somehow I got engrossed in this fairly extensive conversation with Shirley about plastic surgery. That was really interesting.

We went off to our respective classes. Mine was pretty lame, but Wednesday will be the final day of class!!! YAAHH!! At the end we got these lecturer evaluation form things and I filled it out pretty full. Then I went home, ate a lot of food (yogurt, two sandwiches, some cookies, an egg). Basically I idled the entire afternoon; let’s see, I talked with Leon about his charts on Asians in schools and stuff, and what else, I can’t remember. At 5:30 I went to the information session for SCORE. It was in the Faculty Club, which is like this resort-like cabin with dining tables and waiters in suits and all this fancy stuff. Weird, and it’s right there on campus. I never knew about this. Anyway, it seems pretty cool, but the hours are funky and you have to work weekends. Hmm... I dunno... I just had an idea. Since I will be going to Mongolia, I don’t know if any job will let me just leave for a week and a half, so maybe I can get a job at a restaurant or whatever over the summer, and in the meantime look for a more permanent job that I can start after August. Doesn’t that sound like a good idea? I wonder why I didn’t think of that before.

Because of the session, I was late for the decal, where they were watching this movie called Yellow, which had Jason Tobin and John Cho from Better Luck Tomorrow. This move was more about Korean people. It was really similar to BLT in that it had weird situations that ketp getting worse. The acting wasn’t that good. We discussed it a little when it ended and the fob dude kept ranting on and on about white people being bad.

FOB: We need to fight back! If I made a film I would make the white people being beggars on Telegraph, or the hookers on Sunset Boulevard.

He went on and on and ON about how whites were bad.

FOB: How many times do we see Asian women being stolen by the white man?

Came home. The freshman were all in our room with Leon prepping for small group tomorrow. I cooked pork and pasta. The pork was slightly rare and I probably should have cooked it longer, but I ate it anyway. I hope nothing happens. Shirley was supposed to be working on her paper but she didn’t; instead she watched Charlie’s Angels on TV, and you know when Charlie’s Angels is playing I have to watch. I didn’t really get any reading done today, though I DID get my book off the shelf.

Starting to listen to music more. Listening to my live songs from Sunday a lot; John Kua put them up. Speaking of the Kua, I chatted with him for a fairly long time this night about an assortment of stuff. He finally got Reloaded tickets so he’ll be joining Ben, Stephen and I. Oh man, the 15^th... oh MAN. Also listening to Rage Against the Machine, Led Zeppelin, and I also heard the new Radiohead single, which sounded more normal than their recent stuff. Almost pop-like. Well, not POP, but getting closer to it than before. Collective Soul is also nice.

4-29-2003

It was raining pretty heavily this morning. I woke up and ate some food, waiting a little for it to stop so I could go to Safeway. When the skies cleared, I was off. I bought quite a lot of food, so now I’m nicely stocked with fruits, vegetables, soup, bread, Cheez-Its, and ICE CREAM! That’s right, a pint of Godiva Dark Belgian Chocolate Ice Cream. Don’t go eating it all at once, now.

I got back, played some Shadowbane, gained a level. Grr it’s so time consuming.

Class was kind of boring today. After that I came back, at more food (and I already ate a ton of food for lunch and breakfast), then went to chorus. There was this new substitute guy directing, and this time, we acted like he was a SUBSTITUTE. You know the drill: laughing at him, making fun of him, cracking up, etc., etc. So I mentioned to Min that the sub really reminded me of Tom Arnold. Then he said he sounded a lot like Nathan Lane. Oh my goodness, he DID!! I couldn’t believe it; every time he spoke, sang, or anything, it sounded EXACTLY like him. So the little group in our area would crack up royally every single time. HAHAHA... oh man that was so funny... we were laughing every 5 seconds. Anyway, chorus dragged on forever (or, it seemed like it) because the sub was weird and kind of mean. And I was tired.

Small group was good today; led by the freshmen. That went well. Emily brought this bag of deformed Jelly Belly beans and Liz brought a bunch of cupcakes... aww yeah. Tina acted really weird, as usual. I would write down some of the stuff that she said but I can’t pull them off the top of my head right now.

Leon and I decided to go to La Burrita. Mmm... I’m getting fatter by the day.

This by far is not the best quote of today, but it’s one that I remember:

SHIRLEY: The video on Friday is going to be soo funny... Phil is going to be a gay Hispanic.

SHIRLEY: It’s scary how well Phil does gay.

LEON: Good thing it’s not the other way around.

SHIRLEY: Gay does Phil...

SHIRLEY and JON: Hahahaha!

LEON: What’s wrong with my head!??

I sat on the couch as I listened to Leon and Shirley talk for a while about guys being aggressive, taking initiative, stepping up, etc. Meanwhile I just sat there and got nervous. AAAHHH what am I gonna DO!?!?

I also tried to explain to Leon the idea of people living together synchronizing their hormonal cycles, but he didn’t believe me. I’ve been emotionally up and down, eating like a maniac, gaining weight, etc., all week. At the same, Shirley’s been PMSing like crazy (her words, not mine) and Leon has been “bloated” with gas (more than usual, even). Tell me that’s not a coincidence. And Jonny even told me about it in the same day! It’s called HTS (Hyper Testosterone Syndrome) which is similar to PMS, but in guys. FINE don’t believe me, laugh all you want, but it’s true.

Dang it, it’s late.

I emailed the SCORE people... I won’t be going to the interview...

4-30-2003

Today was a loooong day...

Ownage early on today at morning prayer... I was talking with Leon again last night and fell asleep past 4:00, I think. Then I had to get up before 9:00. Like last week, it was the usual three at morning prayer: Julia, Leon, and me.

My eating craze continued when I got back home. Shoot, I don’t even remember anything else that happened. Well I know I downloaded a bunch of music videos off of Kazaa and watched them before going to class.

Class was boring and lame, as usual, and I was kind of hoping that it would go out with a bang, it being the LAST lecture of the class and all. But no, it was just as boring and lame as it was every week. I nodded off a couple of times. OK I’ll bet you want to read more about girls huh. That’s what they all want these days. Girls, girls, girls. Is that all you care about?? OK fine. So I was nodding off but I was trying not to because this girl next to me was wearing this tank top thing and the strap facing me would fall completely off from time to time and she made NO effort whatsoever to put it back, and I, at all costs, did not want to fall asleep and land on her bare shoulder (which has happened to me before on another occasion). I bet she was doing it on purpose too. I mean, it was just OFF! Anyways, there’s your juicy tidbit of the day, I hope you’re happy.

By now I was really tired because I had spent the whole class trying to stay awake with my head up. Plus I was running on four and a half hours of sleep. I went to chorus sectionals and that sure didn’t help.

Victor was at our apartment when I came back. They were watching music videos on TV. I can’t believe how stupid and unoriginal music videos are these days. So when there’s some R&B video or something, they’re going to have the “artists” wearing white clothes and jewelry, singing, with babes dancing around behind them wearing outfits that would be too small for Beach-Fun Barbie, and the video would be intercut with shots of some “cool”-looking dude walking down the street in slo-mo and exchanging glances with some skanky ho-bag. Next shot, they’re making out. AND for punk videos, you have dudes with weird hair, ghetto clothes (except for bass players and/or drummers, who wear no shirts), covered in tattoos and slamming away on their guitars in the same way that EVERY band slams on their guitars. You know, they headbang, and shake around, and try to look like they’re hardcore. Oh yeah and they break stuff. EVERY TIME. And I just hate the overall skankiness of music videos these days. Like MARIAH CAREY oooooh she just makes me want to freakin’ BARF every time I see her.

So all of us had a pretty good time just goofing around. We went to a hilarious little episode of singing that “Love Medley” thing from Moulin Rouge, which somehow happens on a semi-regular basis in this apartment. Wailing, screaming, crooning, shattering glass... it was all there man.

Decal was on MIRC today. We eventually met up in Shadowbane but we stood around for a LONG time just doing nothing, waiting for everyone to get there. When we were almost about ready to start (we’d been waiting for like half an hour, doing nothing), the game lagged out and we couldn’t get in. What a waste of time.

I didn’t eat dinner. At 7:00 I had an ADDITIONAL rehearsal with chorus. Marika was back. OH MAN it was SOOOO long; it went from 7:00 to past 9:30!! Merciless! My legs were so totally gone, even before we were long into the session. Before we started, though, Ralph called me, and talked about some pretty cool stuff... potential opportunity. It’s really, really cool, yet at the same time, it’s really, really, crazy. I really don’t know what to do. The best thing to do would be to pray about it.

The end of chorus had me completely, utterly drained and dead. I trudged home and called Howard up. He seems to be doing really well and we talked for quite a while (nearly 32 minutes, first runner-up to Tiffany’s 37+) about a number of various things. Haha so much funny stuff but my memory is so bad. Making fun of the French; talking about funny things in Mexico. Yeah but things are really going well with him, apparently. Good stuff.

I played some piano. Man I am so tired today. I didn’t eat dinner, only a pear. That’s good. I can partially fast some meals. Maybe I should spend some time now reading the Bible and praying.

5-1-2003

Woke up fairly late today, like at 11:00. I needed more sleep.

I spent a pretty good deal of time reading the Bible and praying, since I really haven’t been keeping myself up on that lately, even when I need it most. For lunch I had eaten a salad and a sandwich, and I told myself that I wouldn’t eat any more, but then Shirley came back from some restaurant with the rest of her chicken teriyaki for me and I was like “ohh man...” So I ate it and it was REALLY good; I don’t regret it, mainly. Though I was full by now, I “ate” one of those Power Gels to keep me awake in class, and it really worked! I didn’t even come close to falling asleep even though I was pretty bored.

There was one of those evaluation things for the professor, so I did that, and then went to Wheeler and got some tickets for my graduation. My name wasn’t even on the walking list! Whew, good thing I had that cleared up.

There was no afternoon chorus rehearsal, so WHEW! I got to relax. Tiffany told me about how she fainted AGAIN in France, that was too funny (sorry, I know it isn’t funny when it happens to YOU). But I exchanged my own share of public fainting and hyperventilation stories, so it’s fair I guess.

I watched some TV: first I got mesmerized by this show about predators. I saw these tigers, pythons, bears, sharks, crocodiles, orcas, etc. It was really freaky because the narrator would keep making comments like “they prey on wildebeest, zebras, and sometimes... HUMANS.” Or “You don’t want to be... LUNCH. Do you?” And they would show videos of like this snake swallowing a whole deer and it was so gross, and they would have these re-enactments of actual humans being hunted and devoured by these creatures; it was so morbid. For each animal they would have an introductory clip where some hapless dude is running through a forest and then he runs into a bear and gets mauled. He doesn’t even get saved. Another one showed this scuba diver trying to hide from a great white shark in a little grotto of coral. Then he gets trapped in there as the shark corners him, then gobbles him up. I was like “dang these clips are DISTURBING!” It was so unnerving. It supposed to be just a nature show!

Next was this speech from President Bush, to the military personnel aboard the aircraft carrier USS Abraham Lincoln. He came in this fighter jet! That was hardcore! His speech was so awesome. I don’t think Bush is the most eloquent of speakers, but this one just tore me apart. He praised the military for their work and dedication, said that he was “honored to be their commander-in-chief,” remembered the fallen soldiers. It was beautiful. You could see the men holding back tears. Bush’s voice was even breaking. Finally I broke down in tears, just from watching it on TV. That never happened to me before. I may be at Berkeley, capitol of the liberal, inane protesting world, and you may mock me and diss me all you want, but I AM DAMN PROUD OF OUR ARMED FORCES! GOD BLESS YOU AND GOD BLESS AMERICA! YOU MAKE ME PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN!

Then I watched “Friends,” I think. Oh man that episode was so brilliant, especially the end, when everything came together, plot-wise. Brilliant! It was about the night Rachel got pregnant, and Ross had it on video, and he claimed that SHE was begging him while she claimed that HE kissed her first. And Joey, with the European backpacking story... BRILLIANT!

When I got up off the couch, I discovered that my legs weren’t working, so I tumbled to the ground on my face. Somehow one of my legs had gone numb without me knowing it. I tried getting up again, and crumpled back to the floor. Whoa that was so weird.

There was a new ‘Friends” on later, but I couldn’t watch it because of ANOTHER rehearsal. Man it went late (because it started at 8:15). Today there was the full orchestra, and we were being directed by that Nathan Lane-ish dude. Tiring. The orchestra sounded really good. It is a lot bigger than the Brahms orchestra.

I didn’t eat dinner again today, but I ate a pear, instant mashed potatoes, and a lot of chips. Great, just great...

I also practiced singing this “Seasons of Love” song from Rent for the big song that everyone is going to practice at voice lessons tomorrow. Whee...

Read how Tim invades my privacy:

JON (11:42:48 PM): my CDs come yet??
TIM (11:42:51 PM): yeah
TIM (11:42:53 PM): can i open them
JON (11:42:54 PM): FINALLY
JON (11:42:55 PM): sure
TIM (11:43:18 PM): I'm still scratching my head as to why you bought the jars of clay cd
JON (11:43:24 PM): I got kid a, OK computer, guster, bjork, circadian rhythm, eleventh hour
JON (11:43:29 PM): what the
TIM (11:43:36 PM): what?
TIM (11:43:38 PM): huh
JON (11:43:38 PM): you opened them already without me permission eh
TIM (11:43:42 PM): yeah
JON (11:43:49 PM): gee, thanks for the privacy
TIM (11:43:52 PM): just making sure all the merchendice was safe
TIM (11:44:07 PM): hey if it was a bomb that means I would've taken the hit for you
JON (11:44:08 PM): oh, wow, thanks!

OH MY GOODNESS my body is being wracked, by stress and lack of sleep, I think. My muscles will involuntarily twitch from time to time (sounds herra freaky doesn’t it), especially in my legs, and my eye has begun twitching again too! AAUUGH! Except now it’s my lower eye, not my upper eyelid. It’s because of job, crappy paper topics, etc., etc., etc. AUGH!!!

Dang Leon is gassy this week like MAD. And it’s all like gross and watery now too. And these actually smell. I’m telling you, Shirley with the PMSing, me with the unstoppable snacking and chowing, and Leon with the incessant farting like there’s no tomorrow; it’s a synchronized hormonal cycle. Believe it.

5-2-2003

Wow, it’s raining pretty hard outside. Right now it’s a little past 5:20 but I’m writing now because I might not get a chance later. This morning the alarm clock blasted me awake again. What a shock. I hate it when it does that.

Kickboxing was fairly tiring today, and for some reason it was really warm and muggy in there today so it was pretty uncomfortable. I weighed in at 151.5; so only 0.3 pounds less than last week. AUGH. Well at least I’ve leveled off for the time being.

Came back, ate some more food, and then went to voice lessons with Shirley. It started raining fairly heavily.

JON: So do you want me to hold the umbrella, or do you–

SHIRLEY: Want to be in control!

Today we all practiced this group song; a song from Rent that I was practicing a bit yesterday. That was pretty cool. Then we had a little time to go through a few of our other songs. Today everyone was there. Neat-o! We are pressed for time to practice this coming week because we are all performing next Friday. Yikes...

Discussion was actually pretty good today, I was surprised. Probably because we were talking about Three Kings. I also signed up for office hours, and filled out one of those evaluations forms for the GSI. At least this was a good final discussion section.

Ah, time to chill. Jonny gave me a call to see how I was doing. That was cool, he told me that X2 is herra good, and about just a bunch of other things. I ate a WHOLE lot of chips,; the bag is almost empty and I just opened it yesterday. Doh...

I watched Rushmore (finally; it’s been so long since I watched a divx movie) and it was really good! Wow, really good... the acting, cinematography, editing... and it was so low-budget and first-timer-ish (even though it was Wes Anderson’s second movie).

Might go home tonight, maybe tomorrow... might watch X2 tonight, maybe tomorrow... who knows? We must live life as it comes to us. Yep.

Might go to some sushi place with small group people... if so, I’d better be leaving soon. I’m sorry I can’t be more entertaining with the writing. Once I realized that people actually read this, I find myself striving to make things interesting when in fact my life really isn’t so much. Well, actually it kind of is. What am I talking about.

OH dude I found out that Emily (Wang) works at Amax! I applied there at the job fair! So since the SCORE thing isn’t working out, she MAYBE can hook me up! Emily (the manager that I gave the resume too... yeah what a coincidence huh) has my resume so maybe this can all work out! “Work” out, AHAHAHAHAHA... sigh. This whole “be entertaining” thing isn’t working. “Working.”

Crrrrap! (5:58pm) I just got back from Unit 2. Turns out Ryan had said QUARTER TO five this morning, instead of FIVE FORTY-five like I thought he had said. I was hanging around there waiting, and I called Jason and he was like “uhh, I think you got the wrong time.” Doh! Oh well, at least I got to prance around in the rainy streets with my trench coat. That was kind of cool, I guess.

I just emailed Emily (Amax lady)! w00t!

(10:48pm) Well, I ended up not watching X2. At 7:00 Koh-Eun and I walked to large group. It was cool; there was this “Worship Team Idol” video that was too funny, and also worship team did the “greatest hits,” and Shirley Sho spoke about hope, and how we have to ENGAGE it. Yep. It ended really late, like past 10:00; and people were just hanging around, waiting, wondering what to do. Eventually a group of people just started walking, not knowing where we would go. As we went along, more and more people would silently just disappear; I guess they went home. So we all just went home. I walked with some people (Emily, Mariann, Sylvia, and Nancy) then at Dwight we split off so I walked Emily home (the other three are roommates so I figured there is at least some safety in numbers... sort of. Berkeley at night is a scary and unfriendly place to be).